It's trying to kick my butt...
After 17 treatments of radiation, they decided to switch the angles around to spare my spine from too much exposure to the stuff. Sounds good, and I appreciate them thinking about my spine, but this new 'off cord' treatment sucks. Instead of zapping me from 2 angles now, they are hitting me from 18. The total amount of radiation hasn't changed, but I now have to lay flat on my back for almost an hour. The result of that is massive acid reflux that leaves my already painful esophagus feeling like a burn victim. To make things worse, they made me listen to an hour of the best of Whitney Houston! That alone should scare the cancer out of me...
I've had a handful of really rough days since my last post. I told Amy that I think these treatments are trying to break me now (not that I'm allowing that to happen). Only 6 more radiation treatments to go and 3 weeks of Chemo...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. The hardest part mentally is that I'm just sick of being sick. I'm constantly in a state of pain or overwhelming discomfort, though the actual symptoms vary from day to day, from hour to hour. I go from being nauseated to having cramps to having my surgery site hurt like hell to sleeplessness, etc., etc., etc. I'm just not comfortable. I don't even remember comfortable...
A little 8 year old girl named Alina died today in Germany from Leukemia. I didn't know her, but I've been following her story through my cousin Tobi and his girlfriend Meike. Meike is a reporter in their town and followed little Alina's story as the whole community searched for a suitable blood donor. Over 2500 people turned out in the search, but it was too late. When you have cancer, you really want to hear success stories, but of course you can't hide from the ones that don't succeed. Alina's story was exceptionally sad, but she managed to touch the lives of over 2500 people in her short life. Yet another all-too-real reminder that life is short, don't take it for granted. Don't take anything for granted.
I'm unnaturally sleepy...no nap today and I'm running on fumes. Thank you all so much for keeping up with me and for your continued support.
Hans
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