hansrue ([info]hansrue) wrote,
@ 2006-01-07 20:24:00
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Current music:Eric Matthews

Infection boy rides again...
So I'm back from another whirlwind trip to Houston with mixed news to report. Let's start with the infection in my back: it's still there. The Dr.'s options for dealing with said infection were a)another tube, b)surgery, or c)30 more days of Levaquin, the antibiotic that made me so damn sick over the holidays. Surprisingly, he suggested the Levaquin and of course we went with his recommendation. I'll be taking Diflucan (an anti-fungal) at the same time as the Levaquin, so hopefully I won't have the severe abdominal pains that I had over the last few weeks. The abdominal pains have been debilitating, to say the least. I've been walking around literally doubled over in pain at times, shrinking from my normal 6'4" to about 4'4".

Then there's pneumonia. Apparently I've still been clinging on to pneumonia in my right lung since the last operation. Combined with my other ailments, it makes me extremely short of breath. We live in a split level home and it seems like I'm constantly going up or down. I've gotten to where I have to rest on each level before proceeding to the next. I feel a hell of a lot older than 33 at those times.

Finally, there's my broken rib. The Dr. said that if it hasn't healed by now, it's not going to. He also said that's no big deal though. Eventually enough cartiladge and muscle tissue will fill in the gap and the pain will subside. I need to breath deeply to help fight the pneumonia, but the broken rib makes it seriously painful to do so. It also hurts to cough, but that doesn't seem to stop me. Coughing has become somewhat of a past time for me...no fun.

My weight dropped to the mid 150's during my last round of antibiotics and the Dr. wants me to try harder to keep the weight on. It's honestly not easy. There are so many days now where food seems like the bad guy...I just feel ill after eating. I'm back up to the mid 160's now and I'm trying harder to snack. I'm even drinking Ensure, which I find moderately disgusting. I have to guess that I'll finally end up in the mid 170's...I seriously doubt I'll ever get back to 214 again. We've had to go through my entire wardrobe and donate most of my clothes...they just don't fit anymore.

I've had a few people tell me that they don't know what to say to me in regards to my illness. Those of you who reached out to me during this ordeal, through cards or email or this journal, did more than you could ever know towards helping my recovery. There were so many days in and out of the hospital where everything seemed so damned grey (and I must admit, there are still some damn grey days)...then a single card would clear those clouds. It's SO important that you reach out to those around you who are ill. Saying nothing is the worst thing you can do. Even if you just say, "I'm thinking about you", that's enough. It makes you feel like you're not doing it all alone. So, once again, THANK YOU to everyone who took the time and made the effort to reach out. I owe much of my improving health to you.

If I can get these abdominal pains under control, I hope to return to work in some capacity this month. It'll be hard, but I really want to return to that daily structure. My poor friend Huitt is going to have a time trying to schedule me around all my doctors' appointments and trips to Houston, but I want to go back as soon as I can.

Much love and respect to you all...don't take your next meal for granted




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Tiny steps are still steps!
(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 02:34 am UTC (link)
So much to be thankful for, even while there's so much to pray for. We do keep God busy, don't we Hans!?

I'm sorry about the infection. I know the dread of hearing that it's time to go back on them again, hating the side effects. I'm sorry about the pneumonia - in a split level house! That's truly nasty. AND a broken rib. I AM sorry, and will pray specifically about those things. But I also rejoice that you're home, that you're eating (even if not with the same enjoyment as before - but that will come) and that you're talking about going back to work! That's fantastic. Really, as long as this ordeal has been, in "cancer" terms it's not been all that long, although you surely have packed it with horror. No more of that, ok?

So, keep us informed, those of us who've been drawn into your life via this journal, and may God richly bless you and your lovely family. I've enjoyed "getting to know you".

Cindy<>< (The nutty lady from PA)

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You deserve a break!
[info]abbyladybug
2006-01-08 05:01 am UTC (link)
Man oh man. I keep hoping you will catch a break. And to hear that you still aren't really able to enjoy food. Ugh! It seems so unfair. I am still reading, and I'm still hoping things start to turn around soon.

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Latest Message
(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 06:01 am UTC (link)
Hans, it was good to read your latest message even though you are still having to endure so much. I hope you can get back to work; perhaps that would help. Try drinking Boost instead of the Ensure. My Mother had pneumonia a couple of years ago and wouldn't eat and the doctor suggested Boost. She said Ensure was nasty and that the Boost tastes better. Mother is still drinking it and likes it. I get it for her at B.J.'s.

Lynda Dockery
Kennesaw

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 06:44 am UTC (link)

Hans, I can't wait to see you back on ETC3. You do a great job as anchor of our local news. :) So many people here in Ellijay love you and are praying for you.

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so true
(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 10:34 am UTC (link)
As a cancer survivor, I agree with you so much when you said:
" It's SO important that you reach out to those around you who are ill. Saying nothing is the worst thing you can do. Even if you just say, "I'm thinking about you", that's enough. It makes you feel like you're not doing it all alone. "

I have found great value in internet message boards for the specific type of cancer that I had. Folks are usually very supportive and also extremely knowledgeable about the latest treatments.

It is tough waking up every day and not knowing how you are going to feel or knowing that you are going to feel lousy. It' s hard waiting for that milestone that we know you are going to reach when everytihng finally stops hurting. I hope you reach that point soon and can get back to work . It may be work but it brings back some normalcy to your life and lets you focus on something besides "the pain."

I really wish you the best, Hans. Thanks so much for sharing your journal during this difficult season in your life.
Gena
Washington/Talking Rock

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We care! We care! We care!
(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 11:31 am UTC (link)
Hans, you are truly amazing. Stay strong. If you can find a way to bottle your attitude, I would like to market it for you. I could use a lifetime supply myself. Stay strong. This old world needs more like you.

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 02:54 pm UTC (link)
Hans, you have said several times to not take our next meal for granted. And how I wish it had happened in a much different way, since your fight began you have taught me to not take ANYTHING for granted. I hug my children with more emotion now, and I actually take time to appreciate the man who shares my home, my family, my life. I think of you, Amy, Finn and Ella every single day and through your family I have learned to VALUE all I have. I wish I could say it more eloquently. I hope you know what I mean.

Stay strong, Hans. And "thank-you". With love and good thoughts,
Kim

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Pluses & Minuses
(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 06:25 pm UTC (link)
That is the way it always seems to be, BUT we are all thankful that you have the biggest plus with the cancer in remission. It has been a long road and a painful one, but I just know you will get better and then you can be truly be thankful to have the awful ordeal behind you. That is much harder for you now at this point, but I believe and trust in God that it will happen. You have the faith and courage to believe likewise and we will continue to support you with messages of whatever kind we truly feel. I waited until yesterday to read a new entry and then called your Mom to learn that at least there was no surgery and no more tubes. Keep your good attitude and enjoy that "getting back to work" when that day comes.
Love and God's blessing to you and ALL your family. Mary Smith

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 07:46 pm UTC (link)
God bless you and hang in there. I'm praying for you.

Pat Sands
Walnut Mountain

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Glad You're Home
(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 09:00 pm UTC (link)
So glad to read another entry from you because I know it means you are still fighting and maybe a little better when you key in an entry. Know getting back into somewhat normal routine of working will help occupy your mind in some other direction than your pain for awhile. Anyway I hope that is what happens.
Maybe you can whip that Ensure into some kind of milkshake to make the taste better. With your culinary talents maybe you could add some extract or spice if your digestive tract would allow to make that liquid go down more smoothly.
My weight should drop so much; but, of course, no one wants to lose weight by being sick. Hearing the words "needing to gain weight" would be music to my ears, but everything is relative. I hope you can beef up some more, especially if your doctors feel that would be best for you. Getting new clothes can perk up one's feelings, however.
Hettie

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-08 09:28 pm UTC (link)
Dear Hans,

My little Katie and I will continue to pray for you! She just turned six and she remembers to pray for people long after they are well...
I will tell her...she doesn't have to pray for 'Amy' any more cause Amy is all better...but Katie still remembers her. So even if I forget to pray for you...my Katie will remember.

A beautiful little red headed girl remembers you...and so does her mom!

Donna in Wisconsin

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Keep Hanging In There
[info]jim1411165
2006-01-08 10:17 pm UTC (link)
Hi Hans,

So sorry to hear about the infection and all that seems to be attached to it. Hopefully with this new drug to take with the antibiotic it'll make things at least a little bit easier for you. Hang in there, we're all pulling for you and hope to hear that you're back to being 100% healthy soon. :-)

Jim

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Suggestion
(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 12:15 am UTC (link)
Hans, you don't know me but I've commented a few times on your journal. I know you through FoodTV and also through Jenn at Salem Place.

Anyway, I have had gastric bypass surgery, so I am familiar with finding foods to tolerate and the difficulty of getting anything down. I have found that Isopure protein powder is very tolerable as is Nectar and GNC. (All except Nectar you can find at GNC.) Nectar has a juice type consistency and the others are best mixed with milk so they're that consistency. That will help with protein (which is most important) and nutrients.

Michelle
cloudfamily4@comcast.net

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 01:28 am UTC (link)
Hello, Hans. It was so good to read your latest journal. I was beginning to get worried since you had not posted since December 27th, and I knew you had gone to Houston. Was worried that the news was not good. I am just getting over bronchial pneumonia so I know about shortness of breath. And coughing...when you are 62 and cough real hard...well use your imagination. I had asked my sister Jeanette today if she had talked to your mom to see what the results of your Houston trip were..said she was going to talk with her tonight. Tammy, the girl who works for us and has colon cancer, is finished taking chemo..she could only manage 7 out of 12 treatments...they screwed up everything in her..her red & white blood cells and potasium...she went down as low as 94lbs. is up to 100 now. I told her about mixing the highest fat content ice cream in her ensure...she said it helps and seems to help in the weight department.
You might want to try it. She hopes to have her reconnection surgery in February...that is if she gains some more weight..she has been confined to her house for the past 5 weeks. You are so blessed in that your family really stands behind you.
Always try to look at the glass being half full instead of half empty. I know you have been to hell and back but you are cancer free now. wonderful!!!
Your friend,
Resa Clark
Griffin, GA

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 03:51 am UTC (link)
I'm thinking about you.

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Hang In There
(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 05:30 am UTC (link)
Hans,
I am sorry that you are experiencing so much. I hope that this new round of antibiotics will do the trick.

Try to not lay flat in the bed. It is best to have your chest elevated so that fluid does not accumulate in your lungs.Even if it hurts, try to do the breathing exercises.

Also,try taking Ester C (1000 mg). They are time released. You can get them at GNC and they will boost your immune system.

I hope I don't sound too much like your mother,but we are all praying that you kick this thing.

P.S. I believe Ensure makes a pudding that might be easier to get down.
P.P.S. Don't forget chicken soup. They make good Mexican chicken soup at the new Mexican restaurant(Dos Margaritas)

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 12:34 pm UTC (link)
Hi Hans - I am sitting here eating my breakfast at work and am just thinking how thankful I am that I can do both. My heart goes out to you all. The good news is that you are free of the big C. Hang in there and as you have already said, you know that we are all pulling for you and are here for you for the duration which hopefully will be very short. Take care. Valerie

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 03:13 pm UTC (link)
Hans...you have been in our thoughts and prayers ever since we returned to Florida from Bent Tree in November. We have not commented on any of your journal entries over the holidays because we frankly didn't know what to say. Your resilience and good humor throughout this never ending ordeal should be inspiring to all who now you or read your journal.....Walt & Elaine

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Hang in there, Hans.
(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 03:52 pm UTC (link)
Remember, we're thinking of you and praying for you. God will see you thru this. I promise! :-)

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Philippians 4:13
(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 04:50 pm UTC (link)
Hans, So glad to get the update, even though it wasn't 100% good news. All the things you're dealing with are fixable so that is the best news of all. MSNBC recently had a series on "Pain"...you might be able to find it on your website. It was very interesting and may be helpful to you. I'm sure it's hard on your wife and kids to see you hurting and not being able to help you. At those times, they need encouragement as much as you do.
So all of your journal friends will continue to keep you AND the family in our thoughts and prayers, knowing that God will heal you.
60 degrees and windy in WV
Pam

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infection boy
(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 05:45 pm UTC (link)
Keep on keeping on, Hans. You are always in our thoughts.
Linda Downes-Collins

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Infection
(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 05:49 pm UTC (link)
Sorry to hear you still have the infection and have to take those nasty antibiotics. It's amazing but you still sound upbeat after all these things. Hope you get back to work this month. Thanks for sharing your life with us, I am a cancer survivor but I never went through anything like you have. I have great admiration for your bravery!

Dave and Marty (Cad Club)

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Keep Planning
(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 05:54 pm UTC (link)
Dear Hans,
MUCH love and respect to YOU! You have probably heard that Rom. 8:28 says, "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." I am certain that you would like to have had the choice of whether to go through this or not because you would probably have passed on this particular experience. And for your sake, I wish you had had that choice.

Selfishly, for my sake, I'm not so sure. You have made the choice to go through this with many people. We are the ones who are being blessed by this choice. You have unselfishly, and honestly, reported your journey. We have been able to experience what, I am sure, is a minuscule part of what you have been through. You have given us an appreciation for our "ordinary" lives, our daily hassles, our tiny aggravations. We have taken so much from you --the gift of pleasure that you are currently bereft of even while you remind us of our own. And we have not been able to take any of the pain from you, though many of us would have been willing to take some of it (it would be nice if I could say all but I am trying to be honest here--I don't want to go through "all"). But your parents would take all of it and your wife is experiencing it right along with you. --Thank you for so much.

Now, KEEP ON PLANNING!!!. You WILL do the TV show again. You WILL enjoy eating again. You WILL enjoy your family and friends again. You WILL breathe easily again. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE. IT WILL BE YOURS.

God bless you. Thank you for blessing us.
Mb

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 08:18 pm UTC (link)
Man, Hans, reading your LJ is like watching you on a rollercoaster. You keep climbing the hill no matter how high it is, and everytime you go over the top and start sliding towards home, there's another hill there and you have to climb all over again. You're a hell of a rider though, and at some point, the rides going to come to an end, you're going to plant your feet on the ground, and we're going to be there cheering for you.

I hope that made sense...

Still got you in my thoughts everyday!

Rich in VA

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(Anonymous)
2006-01-09 10:10 pm UTC (link)
I too was getting worried when you hadn't posted. You see....there are many of us out here in la-la land that do keep very close track of your progress.

There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said, but you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Your battle in some small way is our battle, you have to do the physical and we can continue to help with the spiritual.

Yankee Doodle

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